Month: August 2014

(CNN) — There is a reason why when people post pictures of themselves during their middle school years on Facebook for “Throw Back Thursday,” we all stop and take notice.

We recognize the fear or uncertainty or absolutely angst in their eyes.

Raging hormones. Changing bodies. Awkward social interactions. No longer a child but not yet an adult. Those are just a few of the zillion reasons why most of us would never want to go back to that time, and why some parents of beginning middle schoolers are freaking out as school starts.

After all, studies have shown that the jump from elementary to middle school can be a painful transition for adolescents, whose worries grow to include greater academic responsibility, burgeoning sexuality and complex social structures.

Lori Garcia, creator of the blog Mommyfriend, admitted she’s slightly terrified and definitely anxious about her son, 11, going to junior high school and starting the seventh grade later this month.

“I remember how difficult the transition was and so not wanting to put those fears on my son I try to speak open-ended about it, like it’s a positive experience,” said Garcia, who experienced “culture shock” moving from a Christian elementary school to a public junior high.

“Oh, isn’t this exciting,” Garcia tells her son. “It’s a new adventure, it’s a new school, new people, but I do have my concerns.”

Her son has his, too, she said, concerns about moving from a small elementary school to a junior high with over 1,000 students, potential bullying, changing classes and “the reality of six teachers and … six times the homework and six times the expectations,” she said.

Middle school ‘not agony for all kids’

Here’s something that Garcia and any other parent about to send off a child to middle or junior high school can find comfort in hearing: Most kids survive!

“I think it’s important to understand that middle school is not agony for all kids,” said psychologist Carl Pickhardt, author of “Surviving Your Child’s Adolescence.” “For most kids, middle school is relatively fine.”

That said, there are no doubt big changes coming their way, Pickhardt added, including exposure to acts of social cruelty, in person and online, which they didn’t see in elementary school, “the teasing and the bullying and the exclusion and rumoring and the ganging up.”

Rebecca Levey, a New York mom of two whose daughters started middle school last year, said her biggest worry was social. “And I was right to be worried,” she added, saying the boys were surprisingly meaner than the girls.

“I was shocked. All you think about is mean girls but … the boys were a thousand times worse,” said Levey, who writes about balancing motherhood and her tech start-up on her blog Beccarama.

Pickhardt, who hosts a blog on Psychology Today, said one of the many challenges for parents during this transition time is balancing their child’s sense of independence with their continued need for parenting.

Children might feel that they should be able to handle things like bullying, sexual talk and risk-taking behavior themselves now and that if they tell their parents about any of it, it means they are not able to handle their experiences, he added.

Parents should say, “I really want to be there to help you sort out what you hear from other kids,” said Pickhardt. “I’ll just give you my perception of stuff that you can add to your own thinking to figure out what you believe. … I’d like to be there to be able to do that for you.”

‘They still want to play (with) Barbies’

It’s also important for parents to remember that middle school is a time when their children are “toying with adulthood,” but they’re still kids, said Amanda Rodriguez, a former middle school teacher and host of the blog Dude Mom.

“Understanding that your child is having these feelings and their body is changing and they’re experiencing all these new things that an older person should be experiencing but at the same time, they come home and they still want to play (with) Barbies,” said Rodriguez, a mom of three whose oldest son is a soon-to-be seventh grader.

How much independence to give a child during the middle school years is another big challenge for parents, said Pickhardt. Too often, he said, parents might think they should let go completely, especially of their child’s academic responsibilities, which he said could be a big mistake.

Schools might send the message that if the child doesn’t do his or her homework, they’ll get zeroes and learn from their failures, but Pickhardt said he believes most kids don’t learn that. “They learn failure, so that’s why parents have to be there.”

That means making sure homework is done and turned in, and if the child refuses to bring homework home or turn it in, the parent can offer to accompany the child to school and hand in the homework together — something most children would refuse.

“You’ve got to give that kind of supervisory support because this is not a permanently disaffected state, but if that state is just let go the kid can do themselves some long-lasting damage, and that’s not right. Parents aren’t doing their job.”

The balance between control and letting go

Award-winning author Rachel Vail’s newest young adult book, “Unfriended,” about middle school, comes out next month. The mother of two sons who both survived middle school, Vail describes that balance between control and letting go during the middle school years as an ongoing dance between a parent and the child.

“You have to be very conscious of being aware and following his leads and sometimes what he’ll be communicating to you is this is too much freedom,” she said.

“If your kid is really needing more independence and autonomy, if you’re really paying attention, you’ll be able to tell, and if you’ve then stepped back too far, you’ll also be able to tell.”

Vail also says the middle school transition is a time to think back to childbirth training — as crazy as that might sound.

“I always feel like for the parent, here’s where the Lamaze breathing actually becomes useful because in labor, it did nothing for me … but as a parent of an adolescent, yeah, take a deep breath and … take the long view.”

What can parents and teens do to survive the middle school years? Share your thoughts in the comments or tell Kelly Wallace on Twitter or CNN Living on Facebook.

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(STATEPOINT) — Back-to-school time means another year of tests, team tryouts and club meetings — but it also means an opportunity for students to have a fresh start. Whether your kid is an ace academic or has found it challenging to stay on top of a to-do list, there are many ways to get prepared for a successful school year.

By studying smarter, staying organized and keeping motivated, students can learn to juggle it all.

Study Tips

Cramming at the last minute doesn’t work. Encourage your student to start studying well in advance of test day. Pacing during study time gives the brain a better opportunity to absorb information.

In many ways, the pen is mightier than the computer, particularly when it comes to taking notes. Writing notes down is almost like etching them into your subconscious. Formulating the words and reviewing them as you go is the best way to retain materials.

Organize

When it comes to lockers, backpacks and school supplies, organization is everything. Different systems work for different students. For example, some prefer to arrange their lockers by sequence of the day, whereas others prefer to sort items by subject or color. The important thing is finding a system that works and sticking to it.

Use tools to support the system and help maximize sought-after real estate. For lockers lacking shelf space, consider creating your own — just be sure the solution is durable. The Five Star Stackable Locker Shelf is made with heavy-duty plastic, can hold up to 150 pounds and can be stacked one on top of the other for double the shelf space.

Customize

Your locker is a home base during the school day, so make it your own with artwork, photos, and a dry erase board. It’s also an area to refresh — so consider hanging a mirror, like the Five Star Foam Mirror + Storage accessory which not only acts as a mirror but also a space to hang notes and store pens, pencils, cell phones or calculators.

Encourage students to decorate notebooks and binders with stickers and drawings, or choose their supplies based on favorite styles and colors. Just be sure the items chosen are highly functional. Multi-use supplies, such as the Five Star Flex Hybrid NoteBinder, acts like a notebook and works like a binder, making it easy for students to have everything they need in one convenient area. 

Stay Focused

If your kid is rocking out to their favorite song, while texting their best friend about the latest gossip, then you can guarantee they aren’t concentrating on homework. Turn off the distractions and the work will get done faster and more accurately.

More study and organizational tips can be found at www.MeadFiveStar.com.

For better grades and more success, get this school year started on the right foot.

OCEAN CITY, Md. — Citing the benefits to Maryland families, small businesses, teachers and tourism, Comptroller Peter Franchot kicked off a “Let Summer Be Summer” petition drive on the Ocean City Boardwalk to collect 10,000 signatures in support of a campaign to start Maryland public schools after Labor Day.

Joined by business owners, tourism officials and state and local legislators, the Comptroller plans to present the list of supporters to members of the Maryland General Assembly when they reconvene in January. “Let Summer Be Summer” petitions will be available at hotels, restaurants in Ocean City, Deep Creek Lake and at public fairs and festivals throughout the state.

“Busy families have so little time to spend together to build lifelong memories. Increasingly, the end-of-summer vacation no longer happens because of decisions to begin school a week, or even ten days, before Labor Day,” Comptroller Franchot said. “This not only cuts into one last chance for Marylanders to spend time together as a family, but it also negatively impacts small businesses throughout our state. We all need to do what we can to support small businesses and promote economic activity. To continue as we have causes unnecessary harm to our economy for no good reason.”

The “Let Summer Be Summer” campaign comes on the heels of a governor’s task force recommendation in late May that the state’s public schools delay opening until after Labor Day, a proposal that seeks to extend summer vacation for a week or more in many areas.

The state task force, which met for nearly a year, voted 11 to 4 to embrace a later start date statewide.

“Starting school after Labor Day would have a tremendous effect on the economy in Ocean City,” said Ocean City Mayor Richard W. Meehan. It would give visitors extra days at the ocean, with tourists staying at our local hotels and enjoying a great dinner at our fine restaurants while boosting the local economy at a time in late August and early September when they need it.”

Last August, Comptroller Franchot released an economic impact report completed by the Bureau of Revenue Estimates regarding a post Labor Day start date for all Maryland public schools which found that a delayed school start in Maryland would result in an additional $74.3 million in direct economic activity, including $3.7 million in new wages and a separate $7.7 million in state and local revenue.

“Tourism is at the heart of our local economy,” said G. Hale Harrison, an Ocean City businessman. “Extending the start of school until after Labor Day pumps up business at our local hotels and restaurants and creates foot traffic at stores and businesses throughout Ocean City.”

The study also found that 8.5 percent of 514,680 affected families— those with school age children— would take either a new day trip or a new overnight trip to one of Maryland’s three top destinations— Baltimore City, Deep Creek Lake or Ocean City. Another 5.2 percent would take a new out-of-state day or overnight trip and the remaining families would devote at least one more day to a family recreational activity close to home. Earlier this year, Worcester County Public Schools voted to start school on September 2, 2014, the day after Labor Day, which the Comptroller praised.

“Summer gives teachers some much-needed time to recharge our batteries after the grind of the previous academic year,” said Leslie Beveridge, a third math grade teacher at Easton Elementary School. “Extending summer vacation until after Labor Day would give teachers and our families extra time to spend together to go to the beach or to take a day trip to one of Maryland historic sites or to visit any of the state’s fun tourists’ spots.”

Instead of reducing the 180-day school year, the Comptroller is confident the state’s school systems would be able to adjust their calendars throughout the academic year without losing time for instruction in the classroom.

“Maryland families save up a little each paycheck to spend one week each year in Ocean City, or at Deep Creek Lake or to enjoy the amenities at Baltimore’s Inner Harbor,” Comptroller Franchot said. “Let’s not cut short their summer opportunities to visit so many wonderful recreational, historic and entertainment destinations right here in Maryland and at the same time generate economic benefits for our small businesses Let Summer Be Summer!”

The petition is available online at the Comptroller’s Office website at: www.marylandtaxes.com.