Author: Laura Finley,

November 25 kicked off the annual 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence. At no time has this work been more necessary than now. From rampant sexual harassment to sexual assault, domestic violence and sexual trafficking, women across the globe and in the United States face gender-based violence at horrifying rates.

I’d like to start with my recent personal experience, although it was definitely not the first time I have experienced it in my 45 years. I share these experiences because while there has been important attention paid lately to men in power abusing women who are their subordinates in the workplace or other realms, it’s essential to remember that “everyday” men also commit these same acts of sexual harassment, abuse, and assault.

Not because their work position affords them any particular power over a woman but because the general sense that they are entitled to do and act as they please is prevalent in how many boys and men are socialized.

Not long ago, I experienced unwanted sexual conduct from someone half my age. He had no social power over me other than the fact that he is a male in a culture in which some males are taught that things are theirs for the taking. Likewise, on my campus I have been catcalled by boys recently out of high school who feel entitled to yell repulsive things.

A 15-year-old girl that I know was harassed by much older men while wearing a caroling costume for a holiday event. This is ubiquitous, so normalized that people are surprised by all the allegations that are emerging. We shouldn’t be. Horrified, yes. Outraged, yes. But not surprised.

Here is why we should not be surprised: Statistics have long shown the scope of these problems. Studies have found that some one-third of American women experience sexual harassment in the workplace. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), nearly one-third of the world’s women have endured physical or sexual intimate partner violence. Domestic violence kills more women worldwide than civil wars.

Far more people in America— largely women— have been killed by their partners than were U.S forces in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, combined. American women are twice as likely to suffer domestic violence as breast cancer. In the United States, more women are injured from domestic violence than from car accidents, rapes and muggings— combined.

A woman in the U.S. is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds, according to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN). Women and young girls are sold into sexual slavery— not just overseas but on American soil. They are often recruited from websites like Backpage and Craigslist with promises of lucrative modeling or acting jobs.

More than 3,500 sex trafficking cases were reported to the National Human Trafficking Resource Center in 2016, a figure that far underestimates the scope of the problem given that most instances are not reported and a girl can be trafficking multiple times per day.

Males in powerful positions are even more able to exploit and demean women and those they see as powerless, as these people fear they will lose their jobs, their reputation, and even their lives if they resist or if they tell anyone. This is tremendously clear with the spate of sexual harassment, misconduct and assault allegations being levied against politicians, media moguls and celebrities, including but sadly not limited to Bill Cosby, Bill O’Reilly, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Matt Lauer, Garrison Keillor, Roy Moore, Al Franken and of course, Donald Trump.

What are we to do? The good news is there is a lot that is already happening. New laws are criminalizing revenge pornography, helping to stop males from sharing provocative photos and imagery as a means of controlling women. Women are speaking out about the harassment, abuse and assault and refusing to be silenced. Legal settlements like the recent one in Seattle that three women who were sold into sexual slavery when they were 13 to 15 years old were awarded against Backpage. Activists are continuing to strategize and build on the energy and momentum from last years’ Women’s marches.

In South Florida, I am fortunate to be able to work with a non-profit organization, “No More Tears,” which helps victims of many of these forms of gender-based violence. This unique organization is entirely volunteer-run and provides comprehensive services that allow victims to heal and to build happy and healthy lives. Additional information about No More Tears is available at www.nomoretearsusa.org. I am also co-organizer of the College Brides Walk, a dating and domestic violence awareness campaign that reaches several thousand high school and college youth. More information can be found at www.collegebrideswalk.com.

We know more such organizations are needed nationwide.

It is my hope that the increased conversation about these issues is indeed a cultural tipping point. Enough is enough.

Laura Finley, Ph.D. teaches in the Barry University of Sociology & Criminology and is syndicated by PeaceVoice

Do we really have to go over this again? It hardly seems possible that, once more, people need to be reminded that women do not bring on or invite sexual harassment or assault.

Yet here we are, with the ongoing investigation into harassment and assault by Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. While a few celebrities have spoken out against Weinstein’s deplorable behavior, many have remained silent.

But Donna Karan takes the cake, having been the latest diarrhea-mouth to claim that women are responsible because of how we present ourselves. Karan went on, “Are we asking for it by presenting all the sensuality and all the sexuality? And what are we throwing out to our children today about how to dance and how to perform and what to wear?” And of course Karan threw in the old atta-boy, noting that Weinstein, who settled sexual harassment suits with eight women and has now been accused by at least three of sexual assault, has done “some amazing things” and called him and his wife “wonderful people.”

No, Donna, we are not “asking for it.” By definition, sexual harassment is unwanted sexual comments and gestures. What we are doing is dealing with it, and on a far too-regular basis. Surveys have shown that approximately one-third of women in the U.S. endure workplace sexual harassment like that perpetrated by Weinstein. If our daughters are being taught anything by this scandal it is that they might have to deal with disgusting old men saying lewd things and making obnoxious and inappropriate advances. These women, some of whom endured not just comments but unwanted groping and forcible oral and vaginal sex, are not teaching our daughters anything about “sensuality and sexuality.” Because guess what? Just like rape, sexual harassment isn’t about sexual attraction. It’s about power and control.

No, Donna. This is not about how women are “presenting themselves.” This isn’t about changing norms or some failed decency on the part of women or about mothers who aren’t raising their girls’ right. It is, however, about our continued inability as a society to teach men how to behave appropriately and to hold them accountable when they do not. Just days ago, I had virtually this same conversation with an elderly gentleman, who decried how difficult it is nowadays because he can’t tell a woman at work that she looks “sexy” without facing potential repercussions. Oh, the horror; you don’t get to say whatever you want! That must be a real threat to your manhood, to your belief that you have license over women. The nerve of these young women who don’t simply accept your garbage!

No, Donna. Weinstein is not a “wonderful” person. He is a dangerous predator who harassed, abused, and assaulted women left and right. There is no one-off here but a pattern of behavior that reeks of entitled masculinity. Like Bill Cosby and other powerful celebrities, Weinstein used his status to dominate women as if it was his birthright.

The courage it took for these women to come forward against Weinstein, who used legal threats, payments, and his power in Hollywood, should be soundly applauded. Because as Ronan Farrow of The New Yorker reported, his behavior was widely known at Miramax and the Weinstein Company yet witnesses and observers feared saying anything because they knew that Weinstein would crush them.

While much more will likely emerge about this situation, what should be ridiculously clear is that we still have a long way to go to make the U.S. a safe place for women and girls. That is the deeply sad reality.

Laura Finley, Ph.D., teaches in the Barry University Department of Sociology & Criminology and is syndicated by PeaceVoice.

Surely some uber-conservative political candidates will call me out on “politicizing tragedy” but I don’t care. I don’t want to pray for victims. I don’t want to seek vengeance on perpetrators. I want this never to happen again; I want to never feel this weight again.

Not just something but so many things must be done. My heart is so heavy to learn of not one but two mass shootings in the United States today. While the news is focused on

San Bernadino, California, as I write at least 14 people are dead and 17 seriously injured, another mass shooting occurred earlier in the day on December 2 in Savannah, Georgia.

We have now endured more shootings in 2015 than days in the year. Yes, that’s right— an average of more than one per day.

What do we do? It won’t be easy, that’s for sure. But there are some obvious components, and some other things we need to consider that are rarely part of the public dialogue.

Gun control? Check. We have to create sensible policies that at least make it more difficult for dangerous people to acquire dangerous weapons.

Provide better mental health services? Check. Without a doubt we need to be way better at recognizing who is suffering from mental illness, who among that population might be a threat to themselves or others, and offer supports for them to reduce the chances of horrific violence.

However, in addition to those seemingly obvious answers, we also need to think about what motivates mass shooters in the first place. While some suffer from mental illness, many are simply people who have lost hope, who see themselves as worthless. The above-listed solutions do nothing to address how we change the hearts and minds of people. I don’t profess to have all the answers, nor do I think any one thing is “the” solution, but I do think we need to talk a lot more, and act a lot more, to create a populace that sees violence itself as abhorrent. We need to create a society in which people’s natural instinct for dealing with difficult times is not to pull out a gun or other weapon but rather to seek help and guidance and to use their humanity and creativity to work out another answer.

What I am not hearing much about is the importance of teaching people to think and act differently. We need to teach young people (and every age—it’s never too late!) that they can and have to express how they feel. We need to teach people how to

receive that information and how not to judge but to empathize and support. We need to help people learn how to adapt when things don’t go as planned, and we need to learn to be better cheerleaders for one another. We need to teach people resiliency, as things will likely be challenging at some point and with ample coping skills we can not only survive but thrive. We need to figure out how to help people see a ray of light, a bit of hope, in what can often be perceived as a hopeless situation.

In essence, we need peace education. Everywhere, all the time! Peace education teaches people that not only are there nonviolent ways to resolve conflict but that each one of us is responsible for doing so. It emphasizes that we have to build our capacities for love, acceptance and understanding if we want a better world. Laws and policies can help, but changing the way we think is imperative.

Can we please agree to do this? It’s hard, but also not that hard. Our future seriously depends on it. Another way is possible, people. Let’s make it happen.

Laura Finley, Ph.D., teaches in the Barry University Department of Sociology & Criminology and is syndicated by PeaceVoice.

Hackers target 19,000 French websites after extremists rampage leaving 17 dead. Two people are killed as police thwart a terror attack in Belgium. Former Detroit Rotary Club president gets life sentence for arranging the murder of his wife. Twenty Mexican state officials are being investigated for covering up threats and torture of witnesses to alleged extrajudicial killings. These are all stories in my local newspaper today.

It is easy to get depressed about all that is wrong in the world, to feel as though we are doomed. Yet many do indeed remain hopeful that a more peaceful world is possible. Too often, those of us who keep a sunnier outlook are dubbed simplistic or even silly— a bunch of hippies holding hands and singing Kumbaya.

However, research in psychology and sociology shows that hope is more than naïve optimism. It is perhaps the most important part of actualizing our goals, be they personal or collective.

Scholars argue that hope is the combination of agency and pathways. That is, when we are hopeful, we not only develop appropriate and challenging goals but we believe that we have the ability to achieve them despite the challenges that may lie ahead. Hopeful people encounter challenges or difficulties with the belief that better times and things lie ahead. Those with no hope either make no goals, or set goals that are too easy or next-to-impossible to achieve. They then get either bored or dejected and quit.

Further, studies have found that hopeful people earn higher grade point averages, are more likely to graduate from high school and college, and generate more and higher quality ideas in the workplace. Those who remain hopeful rate higher on measures of overall happiness.

Pediatrician Smita Malholtra identified five characteristics of resilient or hopeful, people:

First, they practice mindfulness, which she describes as “the art of paying attention to your life on purpose.” They pay attention not only to what is wrong but also what is right in their lives.

Second, resilient people resist the urge to compare themselves to others, “they are their own measuring stick of success.”

Third, they see every setback as an opportunity for transformation. Instead of devastating us, challenges offer stepping-stones for change.

Fourth, resilient people maintain a sense of humor, finding opportunities to laugh even at the mundane— a quality associated with lower blood pressure and increased vascular blood flow.

Finally, they do not seek excessive control but rather are willing to go with the flow, adapting as needed.

According to Shane Lopez, Ph.D., author of “Hope Matters,” hope can be learned. The best way to learn hope is to practice more of those things we are excited about and to surround ourselves with people who are hopeful. People who have experienced great trauma but survived, even thrived, have much to teach others about hope and resilience. As Lopez explains, “Hope has the power to make bad times temporary.” People who have hope have both the ability to respond in negative times but are also initiators, ultimately, they are the people who have the most power to effect change.

Gandhi was hopeful. Martin Luther King Jr. was hopeful. Mother Theresa was hopeful. Indeed, all of the people associated with nonviolent social change have much to teach us about confronting obstacles with a sense of our own agency.

Laura Finley, Ph.D., teaches in the Barry University Department of Sociology & Criminology and is syndicated by PeaceVoice

It’s 2015! People everywhere are making resolutions— lose weight, read more, quit smoking, etc. To resolve is the act of finding an answer or solution to a problem. Yet most of our resolutions are never achieved. According to Marti Hope Gonzales, associate professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota, just six weeks after making a resolution, 80 percent of people either have broken them or cannot even recall what they resolved. And of course, we feel like losers when we don’t achieve these goals.

According to Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist and Harvard Business School professor, the process of making resolutions then failing to achieve them could actually be doing more harm than good: We set ourselves up to fail, and when we do, our self-esteem tanks, making us even less motivated than we were before making the resolution. Among the many reasons why so many of us fail is the fact that our focus tends to be largely if not entirely on personal improvement. In a highly individualistic culture, it is not surprising that people tend to think largely about personal, not societal, changes.

To that end, I suggest that instead of making resolutions, we should make commitments for the New Year. The word commitment means “the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.” Some would say this is simple semantics, that commitment means almost the same thing as resolution but I argue that making a commitment connotes a much more sustained emphasis on something, hence the word “dedicated” in the definition. Further, when most of us think of commitment we think of relationships, which by definition involves, someone other than ourselves. My idea, then, is that we should pledge to be committed to a cause or activity that betters others or our communities. Clearly, there is no shortage of community needs for which our assistance would be tremendously beneficial.

I recommend the making of commitments instead of resolutions because not only would more people get involved on a community-level instead of merely personal change, but more involvement in the community inevitably results in new friendships and interests. It also feels good, and according to the National Corporation for National and Community Service, results in a number of positive health benefits for older adults, including lower mortality rates, lower rates of depression later in life, and increased functional ability. Youth, who are involved in their schools or communities tend to earn better grades and are less likely to engage in risky behaviors.

For all of us, volunteering or serving our communities results in reduced stress and helps build emotional resilience. According to Sheryl WuDunn and Nicholas Kristof, authors of the new book “A Path Appears: Transforming Lives, Creating Opportunity,” who both underwent brain scans to see which parts of the brain were activated by engaging in charitable acts, “the parts of the brain that light up when you give are the same areas that light up when you indulge in pleasures like when you’re eating ice cream or falling in love.”

New year, new commitments— let’s go!

Laura Finley, Ph.D., teaches in the Barry University Department of Sociology & Criminology and is syndicated by PeaceVoice.