ASK ALMA: My boyfriend’s controlling, but I love him

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Dear Alma,

Hi Alma. My name is K. I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 4 years. He works but doesn’t make enough to help me. He makes up for it though in EVERY OTHER AREA, and he’s also a little controlling. He’s taken my engagement ring from me 3 times and I went and bought my own replacement ring and he told me that no other ring should be on that finger, and made me take it off. Should I continue in this relationship? Oh and yes I do love him.

— K

Well K, it depends. Yes, if you’re 16 and No if your 26. News flash! Your boyfriend isn’t ready to get married and neither are you. When you love someone and you’re ready to commit, you don’t take back the ring every time there’s a problem. And you especially don’t go out and get a replacement ring, frontin’ to your friends, so they don’t see the real deal. What your partner offers, is who he really is. You can’t change, transform or rearrange anyone. Wise up to the truth of the matter, when it comes to your relationships. Otherwise you’re living in the fantasy of what you want your life to be. Stick to what you can control. The truth, that’s what you can change and transform.

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.